If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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