dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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