Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
