dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
