It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
