i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
