I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
