just tell him i said nine months
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
