i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
