i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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