Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
