last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
