pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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