these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
