plz talk dirty to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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