is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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