3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
