just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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