I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
