Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
