is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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