This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
