You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
