Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
