tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
