just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
