Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
