Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
