i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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