Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
