maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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