It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
