Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
