i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
