Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
