before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
