There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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