I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
