Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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