A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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