so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
