My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
