I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
