you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
