OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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