It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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