sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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