you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
