The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
COCAINE IS GR8
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
