Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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