Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
