Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
