last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
